Do Not Be Afraid

The coming of the Lord brings great fear to many. Including those you may not have expected. But as was proclaimed by the angels over and over, do not be afraid!

“But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭1‬:‭20‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/114/mat.1.20.NKJV

“But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zacharias, for your prayer is heard; and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭1‬:‭13‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/114/luk.1.13.NKJV

“Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭1‬:‭30‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/114/luk.1.30.NKJV

“And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭2‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/114/luk.2.9-10.NKJV

First world problems

Have you ever sat in the quiet, only to realize that it's not? I'm doing that tonight as I ponder the things that stress me out. The AC just cut off and I can hear the ever so slight hum of the refrigerator. Occasionally I hear the hot water heater out in the garage too. Outside, the night is anything but quiet. Crickets, cicadas and frogs sing their songs. A distant dog, the flutter of a bat and even occasional traffic noise from people going home. And tonight I wondered, what do people in other places hear? Some hear terrible animals on the prowl. Some hear gunshots and crying. And still others hear the stomach noise of their starving children. And I wonder if they would laugh at my first world problems. When I think of them...I do!

The question that broke my heart

This past Sunday, I attended a sweet church.  It may be my new church someday, who knows. The early service was good and Sunday school was great.  I put a lot more weight into Sunday school than the service. That's where the people are who will outlast the preacher. So ... class was going great. Lots of good discussion, lite thoughts and deep thoughts.  And then it happened, the teacher asked a question that pierced my heart.  I knew the standard "good Christian" answer, but in this case I also knew my answer. What was the question you ask?  "If you could sit on a bench and ask Jesus anything, what would it be?"  There could be many "right" answers and I felt like my question to Him was a "wrong" answer... but it was the truth. Those of you that know me and Maureen can probably imagine my question (and I suspect hers too).  Mine even included expletives, which I'm sure the world would say are completely inappropriate for the king of kings. But it was completely honest and real. So real that I teared up a little. No one noticed but Maureen... and she knew and squeezed my hand in reassurance. That's just one of the reasons I love her so.  If you cannot imagine my question, then you don't know me.  But that's ok...I encourage you not to ponder my question and think about the content of your question.  Dig up the deepest and darkest hurt.  The one thing in your life that you just want to know why it happened. And then feel confident in knowing that God himself can take it, can love you for it and can answer it in His time.

After the storm

There once was a terrible and devastating storm. So much was lost. And some felt like they had lost all they had. In particular, there were two young people who were caught up in the storm and both lost something dear. And then things begin to change...

The man saw a butterfly fluttering around flowers he had not noticed before. He wanted to keep the butterfly, but she eluded him each time. And then she landed on his shoulder and told the man to go and search for a little bird. One who is free and full of life. So he searched until he found the bird. She was a beautiful bird, full of energy, strong on her own and always had a song to sing to the man.

 The woman saw a leaf laying on the ground. A big and beautiful leaf. It was not like any she had ever seen. She wanted to keep him with her, but the wind caused him to fly and flutter each time she tried to catch him. And then he landed on her shoulder and told the woman to go and search for a tree. One that is strong and sways in the wind. So she searched until she found the tree. He was tall and strong. He had good roots but was able to sway in the wind and keep her safe.

This man, he was that tree. This woman, she was that bird. And together they came. The bird built her nest in the tree and the tree swayed to the songs she sang. They missed the butterfly and the big leaf when they left. But sometimes they still fluttered by and it made them smile.

 -- With love to Maureen

Unique and Devastating Loss

This was posted on July 16, 2010 by a YWBB member known only as WifeLess.

With the death of our spouse (which here includes fiancée, significant other, partner, etc.), we grieve the loss of so much more than someone we merely loved or were close to, like a parent, grandparent, sibling, friend or pet. We grieve instead the loss of: The one we loved most deeply, cherished and felt the very closest to. The one we swore commitment to in that unique human bond of marriage, which many consider sacred. The one we shared the ultimate partnership with to live as one and perhaps bear children with. The one who embodied our true sense of home. The one who was our best friend and who was to be our companion for life. The one we confided in, depended on and trusted most. The one who really knew, understood and accepted us as we were. The one we felt safe and protected with. The one we shared private moments and intimate feelings with. The one we mated souls with.

But it is not just that this most precious person has been torn from our life, as unbearably heartbreaking as that alone is. With the death of our spouse, and only of our spouse, many additional profound losses must be grieved as well. For we also suffer: The loss of who we ourselves were while with them. The loss of the couple we were once half of. The loss of the life partnership we once formed. The loss of the husband or wife role we once embraced. The loss of the life we once lived. The loss of the plans we once made. The loss of the dreams we once shared. The loss of the future we once envisioned.

Amidst all this, we are also suddenly confronted with many hardships we never expected to face at this point in our life. Besides financial survival, increased domestic burdens and perhaps single parenting, additional challenges less apparent to others but all too real and terrifying to us. We must now find it within ourselves: To create a new identity. To redefine our role in life. To establish a new connection to the world. To build a new network of social relationships. To discover a new sense of purpose. To formulate a new set of goals. To decide on a new direction for our future.

And we must accomplish these without dishonoring our former life, but while suppressing bittersweet memories of that life, so that they do not hold us back. Memories of happier times mostly, but also those of our spouse’s death, either sudden and shocking or after prolonged illness. We must further endure the feelings of guilt and disloyalty that follow us as we attempt to forget and move forward, but with our heartstrings tied so tightly to the past.

And all these tasks must be taken on at the lowest possible point of our life in the worst state imaginable. When we are the weakest, most vulnerable, most insecure, most isolated, most heartbroken and most emotionally exhausted we have ever been. Without that one person we long ago became accustomed to relying on to help get us through life's greatest challenges. The one who, just by being there, would have provided us emotional comfort and moral support to draw upon, as well as the strength and confidence we need to complete those tasks and so much more. But now we face all this alone.

Profound indeed is the death of our spouse. Unique and devastating. For nearly all of us, much more catastrophic to our life than the loss of any other. And truly comparable, many of us widows and widowers often feel, to one other death only. Ours.

Friends are not firetrucks - by Tina West

It's really easy to make a best friend if both hearts are open.

My first best friend was a gift from my parents. Angie and I were the same age and our parents were friends. The rest just happened!

My most precious friend lived down the road and we lived in the country and were in the same kindergarten class. I knew we were best friends when Bobbie named her doll "Tina". The rest just happened!

My craziest friend taught me to kiss using lip gloss and a pillow. How can you not be their best friend?

My most interesting friend gave me the gift of riding horses, playing in the "crick" and a canopy bed. The rest just happened!

My #4 all time funniest friend started over a boy. And after he got out of the way, a lifetime of love started as only sisters can share.

My #3 funniest friend started over one question. We were sitting in golf class, and she asked me to ask her if she was a firetruck. So I said, "Are you a firetruck?" and she replied, "No!" Enough said, hearts opened.

My #2 funniest and best friend I gave myself... Heather. She just gets me and I get her.

My favorite, life long, best friend is my sweet husband who will laugh with me and cry with me and thinks I'm beautiful. (fat, bald and all)

My best friend has become Jesus. Its not always been that way, but He busted my heart wide open and showed me more love than I ever deserved.

Hearts opened... Friends made!

Live life to the fullest

A few short months ago... My wife and I celebrated our 25th anniversary... not with gifts, but fun trips and memories. At Christmas, we went on a family excursion with my parents and sister's family to a bed in breakfast in the mountains. In the spring we enjoyed seeing my handsome son's college graduation, waiting to see the teacher he is meant to be. Then we were amazed at our beautiful and caring daughter's summer work ethic and waited each day to hear the tales from a day at work. Moving into June we planned the second annual family olympics / beach trip. This was something Tina came up with last year and has been better than any other vacation we've ever had! What a blast we all had with family and friends. Then in July we enjoyed the final month before school starts back. We even bought an air hockey table and new seats for the fire pit, because that is fun! Things change so fast. By the end of July, work was much harder due to changes there. A coworker moved on and the economy got tighter. Home got harder because my son stressed over finding the right job, my daughter worried about classes for next year and Tina didn't feel well. But we've been here before. We usually just made it through and came out closer on the other end. Then August came, and it was as if God turned His back on me. Even worse... he took Tina from me. But not just her, I felt like I lost my whole family. My son moved off for work. My daughter left for school. The exteneded family and friends all went home. This big ole house meant for fun parties with friends and family became my own hell on earth. Everyone is so kind, but I still feel lost. I wonder if the past was done correctly. And for the first time, I don't know where to go from here. I've always had direction in my life! I just give it all to God. I know He never left. I listen much closer now, and I still hear Him. I can hear the whisper of God in this silence he has left me in. Thank you to all my friends and family who have been here. Right when God planned. Thanks to my kids who call and visit in a way that makes me feel so loved! I don't know what is next, but if God gives me 25 more like the last 25... it will be full of love, laughs and joy. Love and laugh each day like it's your last! And thanks Tina Hildebran West for turning me into the person I am. I miss you!